imjohnlocked: the awkward moment when you keyboard smash and still get bnehdgehfge cuffbfemgm’s name right
textbookfangirl: billywilder: throughout your life people will try to tell you that puns aren’t funny. these people are wrong. do you know how long I spent trying to find a pun in that sentence
what she says: im fine
what she means: im doug dimmadome, owner of the dimmsdale dimmadome
dyeric: let me seduce you with my knowledge of serial killers.
twatsmussen: ohsnapitsnik: sherlockey-werlockey-stuff: IS NEMO GOING TO BE A SASSY REBELLIOUS TEENAGER “no dad you don’t understand me” nemo
harrystyies: What if oxygen is poisonous and it just takes 75-100 years to kill us?
cancune: if a guy stares at ur boobs just stare at his dick maybe squint a little bit
yaoibutts: i love how potato in french is pomme de terre, which pretty much means “earth apple.” like what stupid frenchman saw this: and said “zis petite légume looks like a, how you say, APPLE! hmmm… but it grows in ze earth… HON HON HON! MAIS OUI! C’EST UNE POMME DE TERRE!”
apatheticghost: my dad just yelled “IT SOUNDS LIKE YOURE MAKING OUT WITH SOMEONE YOU BETTER NOT HAVE A BOY IN THERE”